- By Kim
You may have noticed that I've been playing around with the "look" of the blog lately. Have found some cool features that I thought would be neat to put on, so I've been having fun with the different options. You'll probably also notice that I changed the name of it as well. I thought now that Janelle is writing more, it was time for a change, to reflect what this blog is becoming, with our experiences both shared and separate, and coming from two completely different perspectives. I love that we can write here together, and give a full picture of what this experience is like.
Janelle and Joel have gone back to Calgary, and we've slipped back into our regular routine with work, kids and home. It's still hard to believe at times how quickly the time is flying and that it's almost September! My oldest daughter will be starting preschool 3 days a week now that she's four, and my youngest is now 16 months! I was watching her recently, and wondered where my "baby" has gone. We're in full blown toddlerhood now. It's also just dawned on me that this is going to be the last year that Lily is at home before she starts school full time. I don't know if it's this way everywhere in the province, but here kindergarden is full days rather than half. Come September, we're going to have to do some more juggling of our schedules to get it all sorted out, and hopefully find a good balance with everything.
On the surrogacy front, there's not much new. I'm just waiting now for my monthly cycle to resume and see what the next steps from there are. Lately I've been quite crampy and days where I've been excessively bloated. Days where I think I look 3 months pregnant, and sadly when I've made such comments there haven't been any contradictions or objections. Hmmmm........ Between the continuous birth control pills, Lupron injection and then the hormones, it's been a long time since I've had a period. I figure that under the circumstances this must be pretty normal.
Since it's now the end of August, I've had lots of different questions from people I don't necessarily see all the time, but who know what's going on and are curious to get the updates. My favourite so far, is if I'm "transferred". This makes me laugh. I've gotten over the initial disappointment from our cancelled transfer, and it's not to say that it's still not disappointing, but now it's easier to have conversations about it, feeling that I have a better grip on my emotions than I did before. (Maybe not being on so many hormones helps.) There are times that I worry about my uterus not doing what it's supposed to, and in the back of my mind I wonder if there was any damage done from the IUD I had put in after Rowan was born. Though they warn you at the time about side effects like inflammation, scarring and/or infertility, at the time it didn't matter to me as we knew that our family was complete. I remember thinking that maybe that wouldn't be such a bad thing at all, to not have to worry about birth control anymore. Obviously this was before we started down this path... Now I'm kinda kicking myself in the butt for that. Most days though, I'm hopeful. This whole experience has been such an eye opener for me, on so many different levels, and regardless of the outcome I know that this will have changed me.
"Forget about all the reasons why something may not work. You only need to find one good reason why it will."~ Dr. Robert Anthony