30 weeks!

~ by Kim

30 weeks

If we go to the end, only 10 weeks to go!!!

Lily was born at 38 weeks.

Rowan was born at 39 weeks. 

I'm hopeful this baby will follow suit, and make his appearance early as well. 

It seems only fair. 

And while I'm at it... I think I'll ask for it to be quick and painless too. 

Is that too much?

When I started this blog, I really wanted to keep it honest. I didn't want to only write about how wonderful everything was if it wasn't. I wanted it to be a genuine account of the experience, and be able to share all of the ups and downs that came along with it. A journal of sorts. I wondered if I knew who might be reading, would it influence what I wrote? I hoped not and have tried to write as openly and honestly as I can, without worrying about who's reading it.

I came across a blog really early on, I think before I'd even talked to Janelle about starting down this path, and the surrogate wrote so openly about the good and the bad throughout her journey. It helped tremendously in helping me to make my own decision, and figure out if this was something I really thought I could do. I hope that our blog might be able to do the same for others as that one had done for me. 

I write this now, because not all that I write is always "rainbows and butterflies."

You know the old underwear that's in the very back of the drawer? The ones that are so stretched out, misshaped, with the elastic blown out and they sag in all the wrong places? They are the ones you never want to be caught wearing if you're in an accident. 

They are now my favourite.

I dig for them in my drawer and seek them out. The others don't fit anymore, so these big stretched out ones have become my first choice.

I recently had my first "pregnancy sucks" party one night after a long day at work. Poor Carl was the only one invited, and the poor guy had my undivided attention the entire time. He got to hear all about the clothes that don't fit, my sore back, insomnia, cramps, fat fingers and all my other puffy parts. Since I seemed to be on such a roll, why not carry on and tell him about frustrations at work and irritating co-workers? I was having a serious episode of the grumbles. 

Thankfully, it was brief in duration, and the next morning I found a pair of underwear with the elastic completely stretched out and I felt better. It was a new day, and off to a good start already.

Since my little pity-party ended, it's easy to look back and laugh about it and chalk it up to just regular ups and downs of pregnancy. The next day I apologized for being such a bag, and Carl told me that I wasn't really that bad, so maybe it was just more magnified in my mind. (Or maybe he meant that I've been worse?!?) I vaguely recall having similar moments with my other two pregnancies. I think it was at one these moments that I talked about surrogacy and how crazy those women must be. Ha! Now I'm one of them!

Recently a couple of the surrogacy blogs that I've been following have just given birth and are coming to the end of their journeys. Or depending on your perspective, a new beginning. The timing couldn't be better for me, as I found them inspiring, and encouraging to see these happy stories and how much it meant to everyone. It really helped me to re-focus on what we're doing and give perspective back to what all this means. How much a baby means. I'm looking forward to when we're at that point, and I can see Janelle and Joel with their new baby. It makes me feel silly for all my trivial pregnancy related complaints. It's so short-lived, and we really are coming to the home stretch now. 

Another thing that has got me really excited is that we leave for Calgary on Wednesday! I'm SO excited to see everyone and share some of this pregnancy with them. It's going to be such a great trip, and so nice to get away for a little bit.

I may even get some new underwear to mark the occasion.