45 Days

- by Janelle (Intended Mother)

It's funny how you get into things with such energy and excitement that you forget to figure out where you're going or what every step will be along the way. As we approach August - our month for egg retrieval and first attempt at embryo implantation (yay!) - I find myself getting little glimpses of what I will experience.

The wonderful clinical coordinator I've been in correspondence with recently wrote me an email with details around the hormones I'll be on to stimulate egg growth. She was in touch with the fertility clinic where I live as they are organizing medications for me (along with other monitoring) and here is a little bit of what she wrote:

"They do not carry Repronex so we have switched you to Luveris and changed the dose of Gonal-F. The good news for you is that Luveris doesn’t burn like the Repronex..."

I found myself laughing after reading this because I didn't even know in the first place that Repronex would burn! I'm happy to know that the change has been made, but also should point out that a little burning would not have bothered me. Anyone who's ever tried to get pregnant or has kids knows that you'll do anything for your child or a chance to have one!

Kim has done a lot of online reading and has recently shared with me a blog that's getting a lot of attention in the States called "A Belly for Me, A Baby for You". The great thing about this blog for us (hope I'm not putting words into your mouth Kim) is that we get a personal perspective on the procedures and emotions that both the surrogate and intented mother are experiencing. Today I went back and read about the egg retrieval process which Kim told me had been written about. Figured after finding out about burning meds I should inform myself a bit more ;)

Here are the things that stood out for me about egg retrieval:

1. The intended mother was put under for about 30 minutes
   --> I have to admit this makes me nervous because I went in and out from being under a few times after the delivery of my son and some of the memories I wish to forget.
2. She woke up in a lot of pain and was given Vicoden
   --> hmmm, I like to believe that I have high pain tolerance, but I'm glad that pain medication exists.
3. Afterwards her ovaries were the size of an orange and will stay that way for about a month
   --> wowzers! I'm sure that as you read this you get an idea of what I'm thinking here.

I know that every person responds to hormone treatment differently and the care you receive from fertility clinics can vary. The great thing is that I have total faith in the doctors I'm with and I'll have lots of support from my family (of course Kim is included when I say this!)

Is this all really happenning? I still can't completely wrap my head around it. Maybe when I start giving myself hormone injections it will become more "real" to me. In the meantime I've started the countdown to when I'll see Kim next and we have our first go at IVF:

45 DAYS (until I'm in Victoria)!

Slowing down

It feels like it's been awhile since I've written. People keep asking me what's going on and where we're at with the process, so I thought I'd write a short update. Right now there's not too much going on as we're just waiting to get everything started next month. I'm now on continuous birth control pills, and go for my first of several ultrasounds in 3 weeks. We've all gotten our "protocol" and I was just putting all my info/dates/tests in the calendar for next month, when I realized how quickly it's coming up! Hard to believe that we're already in mid June.

I've also come to the realization that I need to slow down a bit. I've only been back to work from mat leave since mid March, and since then I feel like I've been trying to find the balance between home and work. Right now I'm working full time around my husband's full time job without the kids being in daycare. We're very fortunate that our parents help as much as they do, but there are times it's still tough. It's exhausting trying to figure out schedules for work, kids, school and childcare, and we're both starting to get tired. Often we feel like ships passing in the night - as he gets home from work, I head out. We're fortunate that with both of us working at the hospital that we have the option of shift work, but there are some days that are a struggle to get through. I have shifts that are pre-booked right up till mid August, and normally I would fill in the gaps in my schedule by picking up shifts from short notice sick calls. This week I made the decision not to pick up any more this summer, as we're barely keeping up at this pace, and I miss the girls too much. 12 hour shifts can be a doozy, and I hate when everyone's sleeping when I leave, and already in bed when I get home. Housework, laundry and cooking are at a bare minimum these days, and I won't even tell you about the tragedy we call the garden.

Time to regain control of the house!